Welcome to the Experience

This site is about real life.

Started by a woman who fell in love with someone outside of the conventional age box - now shares her own and others’ experiences of what it's like living with “a gap”.

“Age-gappers”, as they have come to be called, are often marginalized and excluded because of the way they look - but are actually quite beautiful - and have a lot to teach us about love, relationships and ageing.

But The Age Gap Experience isn’t just for age-gappers – it's for anyone affected by a loved one’s age difference relationship.

Maybe you're a confused onlooker.  An embarrassed teenage daughter.  An angry father, conflicted therapist or upset friend. Annoyed that others are not staying in their “appropriate” pool, and dating in yours.

This site’s aim is to provide readers with the most current information about age-gap unions, while offering observations and wisdom from those who have direct experience to share. The goal is to empower those who are considering navigating age-gap territory, while educating the onlookers who don’t understand or can’t accept people in these relationships.

*This site is not for anyone considering an illegal, forced, or manipulated age-gap relationship.

Everyone is welcome to learn more, challenge assumptions, quiet judgments, and search for commonality. 

Most people – from researchers to those in the actual relationships – generally consider anything more than 10 years as an age gap.  There is also the “half his age plus seven” measurement, a boundary with no real roots, but highlights society’s acceptance of intergenerational dating as people grow older.

According to this rule, if a younger woman is considering dating a 50 year old man, she divides his age in half and then adds 7, (25+7=32).   If the woman is 32 years old or older, then some might consider the 18 year age difference the maximum “appropriate” gap. 

Let’s do this in reverse. An older woman, wanting to date this same man (he’s quite a catch), would take his age (50), subtract 7, then multiply that number by 2.  In this example, (50-7=43×2=86).  Ya baby!  A 86 year old may have a 36 year difference with this man (43+7=50). 

As many people in age gaps relationship have found, others are more accepting of large age gaps in older people.         

The problem with both the 10 year and half his/her age plus 7 measures is that they leave people out.  While many readers experience questions related to a 10-30 year age gaps, what about people who are 8 years apart?  2 years?  Maybe there are people reading this right now who are exactly the same age, but are experiencing similar issues in their relationship as those do with large age gaps.

What many people in age gap relationships will tell you, is that their relationship is just like any other relationship, full of the SAME issues that “normal” couples face.

And while chronology may play a role, it does not always define it, as age gaps can also be maturity gaps, knowledge gaps, and health or energy gaps.

The common barriers – ranging from questions about having kids to knowing how to commit to a partner long term – as well as age-gap specific issues, will be discussed on this site. For instance, going through life stages at different times, feeling discriminated against, and power dynamics are all explored.

So welcome to all the “average” age-gap couples (10-20 years), all of the “half his age plus seven” people (can get into the 30+ years category with time), and open arms to those who don’t have a wide chronological gap, but are experiencing some of the common struggles age-gappers face.

Welcome allies – those of you who support people on the “fringes” by using your privilege to advocate for and help others have a voice in a world where different still isn’t always accepted.

You inspired this site.  If everything was going well, if everyone accepted these relationships, then there would be no reason to spend hours researching age gap unions – reading research papers, studying clinical experiments, reviewing blogs, watching videos and documentaries, analyzing comments, interviewing strangers and then condensing the information into an organized and readable form that is offered on this site.

The disapproving looks, willingness to cut ties, bullying, outcasting and excluding behavior can wear one down, but eventually makes us stronger. And with strength comes confidence, gratitude, and an unstoppable inspiration to share and help others.

It is from this place, I write.

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